Movie Review

Memoirs of a Geisha

Memoirs of a Geisha is director Rob Marshall?s second film following his breakout hit, Chicago. The film is based on the best-selling novel and was originally going to be directed by Steven Spielberg, who recently praised Marshall for his astute attention to detail in his execution, claiming that he was a much better director for the project (Spielberg opted for Munich instead). Now, let it be said that I hated Chicago ? I?ve never been a fan of musicals and I thought it featured two of the most dislikable main characters film has offered in recent time; I couldn?t identify with anyone in the story, either. I found Geisha to be a similar feature in the sense that the script makes no effort for sympathy (the main character undergoes cruel treatment as a child, but it?s all very manipulative material). The other problem is that the trailer maps everything out to spoiler detail. The film just ends up being a two hour and twenty-five minute expansion of the preview without anything else of value to soak up. And unless you?re a devoted fan of the book, the 145 minutes to endure is just a whopping bore. This is the closest thing to an American foreign film I?ve come across in recent time; there aren?t any subtitles (it is in English), but it almost felt like I was watching just another one of those foreign flicks ? it is just incredibly dull.

This is another female empowerment picture ? kind of like North Country and the Kill Bills. It has glossy cinematography to marvel over much like Kill Bill, but if you aren?t into the whole Japanese vibe and the Geisha culture, there?s not much here that's intriguing. I?ll admit that films about other cultures can turn me off (it?s all a matter of presentation), but I?ve enjoyed fare like Monsoon Wedding (B) and Whale Rider (B-) ? they had stories that felt like a slice of reality. Whale Rider was predictable, but it had a surprisingly mature tone and didn?t use cheap tricks to win over your support (a common problem for formulaic stories). Geisha is just all-too simple and predictable in that regard; we know where it?s going, so where?s the real entertainment value or suspense? What?s crucial in the female empowerment genre is whether the story feels realistic or if it feels as if we?re being manipulated to think a certain way. And watching Geisha, I felt like I was watching a film just because of how many of these types of pictures I?ve seen before (call me ignorant, but I want something new).

Memoirs of a Geisha is pretty to look at with the cinematography and production design, but that usually doesn?t compensate for a script that's stuck in first gear. I?m usually not looking to be wowed by visual effects or see how good a set looks: I?m looking for a story that hooks me in, emotionally, and makes me care about the characters. And these days, intimate stories are rare to find; stories take backseat to drivel. And that?s what I was watching unfold in Geisha: drivel that just leads to predictable material as a result of having seen the exploitative preview. Even if I hadn?t seen the preview first, though, my opinion would still be the same, as the film plays by a very well known formula.

We go to see films to be entertained in various ways, and films like this just don?t do it for me. Perhaps Memoirs of a Geisha is more suited for older women: I found it to be a cross of The Joy Luck Club (C) and Fried Green Tomatoes (C+) in that regard ? and the fact that I?ve seen both of them is almost embarrassing to admit. The story of a young woman who wants purpose in her life and to become the greatest Geisha that ever lived is obviously going to peak more interest in a certain gender. But films are supposed to be universally affective, and the script didn?t set up her character with the kind of detail that is necessary for me to connect to her life, or anyone. Older women made up a lot of the attendance for Chicago, and I imagine they?re going to make up a large portion of the audience here too (and many of them are going to fawn over this thing). Perhaps I?m not in the right demographic to appreciate a film like this?or maybe it just does come down to personal preference. I would think the latter theory is more accurate.

Lee's Grade: C
Ranked #73 of 143 between Palindromes (#72) and Red Eye (#74) for 2005 movies.

A	0.4%
B	30.0%
C	61.7%
D	8.0%
F	0.0%