Movie Review

Fantastic Four

Another week, another Marvel movie. Don't get me wrong: I love Marvel Comics, and I'm willing to see any movie based on their characters, even though a startlingly high percentage of them have been duds. Fans look at offerings such as Fantastic Four and have low expectations about the way the precious source material will be treated; they assume that it won't have that crisp comic-book vibe. And sure enough, it's movies just like this one that reinforce the disgruntled fans' position in manifold ways once they see it. I enjoyed the movie a little bit because I like comics, but the whole enterprise couldn't be described as anything other than weightless and cheesy.

The plot is about as comic-book fluff as you're gonna get. Five scientists (including one who's very rich and arrogant and is presented in shadow for his first close-up) go into space to do some research on the rich guy's personal space station. There is a solar storm approaching Earth. Reed Richards (Ioan Gruffudd) thinks that the storm can yield beneficial effects in medicine and other things back on the ground (who knows why it would?). But instead, the storm alters the DNA of our protagonists (and antagonist) and gives them each a unique superpower or two. Why they wouldn't all have the same power, I don't know; maybe it's trying to show how unique each person is. After the accidental super-gifts are bestowed, the rich guy - Dr. Doom - starts going insane, losing his business moxie, and becomes hostile towards the heroic super-people. The Four wrestle with their own thoughts about their new abilities, but eventually are brought together by circumstance to save the day. There's just no other way it could've happened.

If this movie were rolled up in a tortilla, it would be a quesadilla; that's how much cheese is dripping from every nook and cranny of this flick. Yes, the lighter-than-air scriptwriting and hokey direction are to blame, but the biggest culprit is surely the music by John Ottman. It sounds like right out of a 1960's cartoon version of the Fantastic Four or maybe a video game from the 80's. During moments that should be adrenalized, the score holds the experience to the level of sugarcoated kids' fare. Ottman also scored both X-Men films, in which the music didn't contribute much to the excitement level either. Let's hope they can get some better audio talent for future Marvel ventures.

The acting didn't bother me, considering what kind of material the players are trapped in. Even though neither Michael Chiklis, Jessica Alba, or Chris Evans seem much like scientists, it doesn't really matter because part of the Marvel ethic is about taking a leap of faith into fun territory. The problem is the lightweight dialogue they must utter and the inconsequential story they meander around in. The movie is not epic at all either; it is just a first chapter in a (hoped-for) series. That's one of the main flaws in the current crop of superhero flicks: they are so obsessed with laying down the origin story that they forget to make time for wild and wooly superhero action.

By this point, the whole framework reeks of just going through the motions; it's almost like they make the first movie just to set the stage for the events of the second movie. This is not viable as a film experience; each work needs to stand on its own. Imagine if George Lucas had tried to explain the origin of the whole Star Wars universe in A New Hope. Looking at this opening installment of Fantastic Four, I could see "some" goodness in it; I'm even willing to admit the possibility that the second one might be much better. Unfortunately, the movie we have sitting in front of us right now doesn't provide much satisfaction.

Scott's Grade: C

A	15.1%
B	59.2%
C	24.5%
D	1.2%
F	0.0%