Movie Review

Twisted

The shady cops, the red herrings, the hard-boiled detectives, the booze, the brute violence, the blood, the double-dealings, the mentors, the honor, and of course, the movie. Welcome to the small spectrum made up of crime drama/thriller clich?s, compiled over years of cinema that keeps getting that much more repetitive as every new cop film hits theaters. The latest to fall dizzily into this cycle is ?Twisted,? which has recently washed up onto screens.

This film is a beginning-to-end mess of a film that takes several of the said elements and dilutes them in a way that there?s hardly anything to commend. It doesn?t take any steps in avoiding the stereotypes, the majority of which make most thrillers worth little more than a DVD rental, if that. From ?Along Came a Spider? to ?Blood Work? and ?Murder by Numbers,? there has been little to boast about in this genre, and unfortunately, ?Twisted? is no exception. Despite its talented cast and rather promising premise, the film does nothing to expand upon these positive elements, because there?s no saving ?Twisted? from tired, convoluted, and poor writing. From there, things can only go uphill, right?

Detective Jessica Shepherd (Ashley Judd) has recently been promoted in the San Francisco police department upon booking a threatening criminal. She celebrates this accomplishment with a night of drinking, but soon she has to start focusing on her first homicide case. A man is found brutally beaten to death and branded with a signature body deformity on a nearby coast. Apparently Jessica had slept with the man, which gives this particular crime scene personal resonance.

Other bodies show up, identical to this one, and all of them had been beaten to death, branded with a cigarette burn, and had slept with Jessica; and in actuality, her former lovers are dying around her. When I first heard of ?Twisted,? I thought the basic plot was rather interesting compared to the usual serial killer motives which usually have something to do with childhood trauma or clinical insanity. The motive for the killer here is neither of those, but ?Twisted? is ridiculous enough to make that a bad thing. Not only does the movie insult a viewer?s intelligence but it will frustrate any sensible, self-respecting person once the murderer is revealed.

Ashley Judd has been one of the most underused A-List actresses out there, as she consistently gets involved in projects that aren?t on par with her talent. We know she has it in her to do great things; you can cite films like ?Ruby in Paradise? and even ?Kiss the Girls.? Though ?Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood? is a rather annoying and sloppy film, there?s no denying that Judd commanded her supporting role. However, Judd has starred in the kind of audience-pleasing, middle-of-the-road fare that has yet to give her full respect from critics. Films like ?High Crimes? are what keep her rooted to this label, and ?Twisted? is perhaps the worst of the mediocrity in her career; in fact, being in this film is pretty much embarrassing for Judd.

Not only is she given a trite role to play, but the writing by newcomer Sarah Thorp is so offensively lazy and sloppy that it hurts to hear an actress like Judd have to perform it. A script is where a movie begins, so I beg to ask why anyone didn?t think to fix this hunk of garbage before optioning it to actors like Judd, and her co-stars Samuel L. Jackson and Andy Garcia? (Neither Jackson nor Garcia are particularly good in this film, again mostly due to gummy dialogue.)

Paramount had purchased the screenplay for a reported two million dollars and at that point it was being labeled haphazardly as the next ?Memento.? Sorry to break it to you all, but this is the complete opposite of the latter film?s brilliance and cinematic verve. I remember reading about that figure and knowing Ashley Judd was attached at that point, and it seemed promising. Studios rarely pay that much for a script, let alone Paramount who has a reputation of being rather stingy when it comes to budgeting.

To top that, director Philip Kaufman was at the helm of ?Twisted,? and he?d gotten my attention with his film ?Quills? back in 2000, though it opened to mixed reviews (I had been on the more positive side). Besides that film, he has consistently tried to give each of his projects something of an artful edge. Besides some pretty impressive opening credits and a few cute tricks, Kaufman has surely under-performed with ?Twisted.?

Not only is the film slow and boring, but it?s obvious what should have been cut in the editing room in order to make this whole affair a bit more tolerable. Also, there?s really not much of a visual pallet for the audience to even be distracted by; Kaufman?s direction of the film is only a few notches higher than a solid episode of the long-running TV show, ?Law and Order.?

?Twisted? unravels in such a clumsy manner that it?s hard to stay interested and also to frankly care what happens next. I feel that there?s a big problem with the film?s structure and that the final twist is rather contrived and unnecessary (actually, the film itself is rather contrived and unnecessary). Since when do we need to spend money to see something predictable, slow, and thoroughly pointless? This isn?t to say that I was miserable watching ?Twisted,? but it?s almost as if mediocre is even worse than being bad. (Heck, I even had fun with ?Gigli? to some extent in its atrociousness)

?Twisted? is a film that is mind-numbingly dull, though isn?t god-awful. The writing is pretty much garbage, and the direction is similarly misguided, but the cast isn?t necessarily bad. I could tolerate this film but by no means do I plan on seeing it again; if you have yet to see it, don?t make plans any time soon.

Stephen's Grade: C

A	8.7%
B	43.5%
C	47.8%
D	0.0%
F	0.0%