Movie Review

Nine

In one of the most ill-conceived movie-musicals since “Phantom of the Opera," director Rob Marshall’s “Nine” tries to razzle-dazzle em but just comes off as a flat, sparkly thing that might have been exciting live but not so much as a movie. The music, with lyrics like “My Husband rarely comes to bed, he makes movies instead," is old-fashioned, forgettable and lacks that catchy charm that made “Chicago” so good. “Nine," based on Fellini’s "8 ½," centers around Guido Contini (much of the music centers around shouting the name Guido), a filmmaker during the 60’s suffering from writers block. His one escape; women such as his mistress (Penelope Cruz) and leading lady (Nicole Kidman), both of whom he is having affairs with to the chagrin of his wife (Marion Cotillard).

Actresses flood this movie (Kate Hudson, Fergie, Judy Dench, and Sophia Loren also star), each getting a brief cameo and a song apiece, but it is only Cotillard who manages any emotional pull, playing the long-tortured wife. And out of all these Oscar nominees, it’s Fergie who surprisingly comes out with the one show-stopping musical number, “Be Italian." The rest are basically either too campy or just plain awful. And Guido himself? The screenplay by Michael Tolkin and the late Anthony Minghella is just bleak. Guido treats women like crap and then wallows in his own desperation. If there was any other point to this movie, I missed it.

Craig's Grade: C-

A	10.9%
B	41.8%
C	31.8%
D	15.3%
F	0.3%