Movie Review

Bewitched

I was just going to give this movie a very average "C" grade, but for days after the screening I kept thinking about how annoyed I was by everything it represents. It should be noted that I'm not a big Will Ferrell fan, and I don't freak out over so-called "Doofus Comedy," which Bewitched is all about. I am at odds with average America, and that's exactly who this movie is aimed towards.

Will Ferrell stars as a once-huge actor whose career is in the dumps due to a string of flops. He has been approached to star in a TV series remake of the classic Bewitched, and grudgingly accepts because he knows it's all he can get. Meanwhile, Nicole Kidman's character moves into a suburban house in town. She is a real witch, capable of manipulating space-time. But she wants to give up the ultimate power that anybody would kill for and settle down into a normal housewife kind of life. Ferrell sees her and thinks she?s perfect for the female lead because of how she can wiggle her nose. This sets off a string of romance, complications, and TV shenanigans.

The thought of watching an actual sitcom never seemed so appetizing. This movie aims in the sense of a clunky Gulf War I era Patriot Missile: it is off-target most of the time. I will admit that I laughed on a handful of occasions, but I cringed with embarrassment just as many times. The comedy here consists of Ferrell doing his usual mugging for the camera, but he can't extend the minor laughs for more than a few seconds. What Ferrell and his sycophantic toadies in the industry don't understand is that nobody is funny on their own; the material has to be up to par, and play to a performer's strengths.

The movie has unforgivable weaknesses; it completely wastes several talented performers. Michael Caine, Stephen Colbert, Shirley MacLaine, David Alan Grier, and Jim Turner (of the TV show "Arliss") all have roles that could have been performed by department-store mannequins; each one of them is underused to the point of absurdity. Why did they even ask these people to be in the movie if it wasn't going to be worthwhile for any party involved (especially the audience)? And please, don't make me mention Steve Carell. Simply put, he gives one of the most asinine and alarmingly unfunny performances I've ever seen in any movie - I was amazed that it wasn't just bad outtake footage. Thank the Lord above that it only lasts for a few minutes.

The movie has some charm, especially in the early segment before the gravity of the situation sinks in. Nicole Kidman is radiantly beautiful; just soaking in her feminine essence was the high point of the movie for me. Any man that would not want her to be the mother of his children must have some kind of Cruise Complex. While I don't roll on the floor for Will Ferrell, he is likable here, and I can see why he's doing big things. This movie has a breezy quality, which the masses will be able to stomach without excess thought or emotion.

I was reminded of Be Cool while watching Bewitched: both of these movies have that all-too-familiar stench of Hollywood soullessness. Bewitched is the cinematic equivalent of Teaching to the Test, that reviled educational practice that many feel is sucking the life out of America's school system. This is a movie put together by a committee to try to please the largest number of morons with the least amount of effort.

Scott's Grade: C-

A	15.1%
B	59.2%
C	24.5%
D	1.2%
F	0.0%